It was an ordinary Saturday morning when my ex-boyfriend, Alex, unexpectedly showed up at my door. Although we had broken up two months ago after a messy, drama-filled relationship, his sudden appearance wasn’t entirely surprising. What was surprising, however, was the plastic grocery bag he handed me with a mumbled, “I got you some stuff.” Confused, I took it from him, hoping it might contain a peace offering or even an attempt at a heartfelt gesture.
Instead, when I looked inside, I found a dozen eggs and half a pound of bologna. Not exactly the grand apology I had imagined. “Eggs? And… bologna?” I asked, puzzled. Alex, ever serious, responded, “Yeah, top-notch stuff. Thought you could use it.” Still stunned, I thanked him awkwardly as he turned and walked away, leaving me holding a bag of groceries that somehow symbolized the ridiculousness of our past together.
I stood on my porch, unsure whether to laugh or cry. The entire situation felt like something out of a strange sitcom—one where the ex shows up not with closure, but with cold cuts. I decided not to dwell on it. Maybe it was his clumsy attempt to reconnect, or maybe he genuinely thought it was helpful. Either way, I wasn’t about to let eggs and bologna throw me off balance.
Later that day, I bumped into our mutual friend, Josh, at the park. With a mischievous grin, he said, “I saw Alex today. He said he stocked your fridge from top to bottom!” My jaw dropped. “What? My fridge has eggs and bologna, that’s it!” Josh couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently, Alex was acting like he’d delivered a luxury grocery haul. The absurdity of it all hit me, and I found myself laughing too.
Reflecting on it, I realized Alex hadn’t changed—still the same guy who overestimated his efforts and misunderstood what actually mattered. It wasn’t the food that bothered me; it was the way he inflated such a small gesture into something grand. But at least now, I could laugh about it. And maybe, just maybe, I’d find a way to turn that bologna into a funny story worth telling at my next dinner party.
