This is an incredibly painful and unfair situation, and your feelings of hurt and betrayal are completely valid. You opened your heart by sharing something meaningful—your late mother’s recipe—and instead of being met with respect or warmth, you were humiliated by your mother-in-law and left unsupported by your husband. That kind of treatment can deeply wound anyone, especially when it involves the memory of a loved one.

Your MIL’s outburst seems not just inappropriate but shockingly cruel, especially considering this was only your second time attending a family gathering. Without knowing her motives, it’s clear that her behavior was unacceptable. Even if she had personal grief or discomfort, lashing out in that way—especially over food tied to your mother’s memory—was both disrespectful and emotionally abusive.

What makes this even harder is your husband’s reaction. His laughter, his failure to even notice you were gone, and his complete dismissal of what happened signal a serious lack of emotional awareness and empathy. A partner’s role is to support, protect, and acknowledge your emotional needs—especially in moments of distress. His indifference, intentional or not, adds another layer of betrayal.

Right now, the most important thing is that you give yourself permission to feel your hurt, and to not minimize it. You have every right to expect your husband to take this seriously. At the very least, he should acknowledge how this experience impacted you, and have a direct conversation with his mother about her behavior.

You deserve to be heard and supported. It may help to express everything you’re feeling to your husband in a calm, honest conversation. Let him know that this isn’t just about a dinner—it’s about the lack of support and the way your grief and dignity were disregarded.

If he still refuses to acknowledge your pain, it may be worth considering couple’s counseling. Sometimes, having a neutral third party can help people see things more clearly. But whatever path you take, please remember this: your grief, your love for your mother, and your need for respect matter. You’re not overreacting. You’re asking for the basic decency that any partner should provide.